Break Down These Walls I've Built

I'm going to try to let you in

past all these walls I've made

I'm making no guarantees that I won't hurt you

it was a stupid promise the first time we made it

I don't know why you think its going to be easy

it won't be easy for either of us

I've been building these walls all my life

and when I was finally ready to let them down for someone

he broke my heart

which made them twice as thick

I don't see how you're going to get through

but if you can

you must be the one.

I Wish

If only it were that easy...

Be Weird

~It's okay. BE WEIRD~

♥♥♥

Doomed From the Very Start

We said we wouldn't hurt each other, but guess what? We did. I suppose we were doomed from the start with a promise like that. We knew that neither of us would be able to keep it, but yet we made it. You'd already hurt me once and I prayed you wouldn't do it again, and I thought that if we made this promise, it would make everything else go away. And I know that I was the one to hurt you this time, but you hurt me too. You said I lied to you, that I didn't even care about you. I do care, and that's why I did what I did. I knew we wouldn't work out, that I'd end up hurting you no matter what, so I chose the less painful way. I know it doesn't seem like that right now, but I promise you, it is. I want you to find that girl who will give you everything, because it's what you deserve. And no matter how much I want to be that girl, I'm just not. Every word I said to you was true, at the time, but when I put it all in perspective, we just weren't good together. We were looking for different things, I was looking for careless puppy love, and you were looking for a deep all consuming love. We just weren't in the same place, and if we'd ever been together, it wouldn't have worked out and you would have hated me all the more. I understand if you hate me right now, but at least I know I did the right thing, for me, and for you. I didn't want to hurt anymore, and I didn't want to hurt you anymore. I just couldn't. I am so sorry for everything. Truly I am. 

I Hurt You

I hurt you

and for that I am sorry

more sorry than you will ever know

I want you to know that I meant every word I said to you

I didn't lie

I want you to have a fair chance at finding that girl 

the girl who can give you all her time and love because you deserve it

but I'm not her

it's not that I don't want to try

it's the fact that I know how it ends

It'll hurt twice as much when you lose me then because you'll know you already had me

I know you don't believe me

but I am so deeply sorry

I know there isn't anything I can say or do to make it better

but know this

Not once have I lied to you

I'm being strong for the both of us and no matter how it hurts you

it hurts me just as much if not more

because I like you

I really do

but it's just not fair to you. 

What Words Describe You?

I got lovely, beautiful, and broken.

Seems about right...

I Just Don't Want to Love You.

Just when you're the last thing on my mind

and I'm thinking of other people

someone brings you up 

or says something that reminds me of you

and I can't let go

I hold tight to what we had

what we could have had

I can't get the image out of my mind

no matter how hard I try

and how often I think of someone else

I can't let go

I don't know how

But it's all I want

I want you

In my mind

nothing can compare to what we had

what I thought we had

and nothing can live up to that

I know you weren't the perfect guy

you had your imperfections

we all do

but I feel as though what we had was real

I thought you felt it too

but now I know you didn't

Please

help me let go of you

Never do I want to forget you

I just don't want to love you. 

I Cry For You

Why won't you let me go!!!! I cry for you still... 

Adorable!

I witnessed one of the cutest moments of my life today!

So during PE, there is this absolutely adorable girl who unfortunately has down syndrome. She has a crush on one of the boys in her PE class. During class she would walk around with him and talk to him, he was on crutches. When he was talking in a group of people she ran off crying. He didn't know what he did, but as she ran away he hobbled along after her on his crutches. She was standing by a tree and when he finally got there, he talked to her and made her feel better. Then they walked back together and he hugged her, said goodbye, and then she ran away with the biggest smile on her face. Adorable! 

He was the kind of guy though that everyone thought would be the last person to do something like that. It honestly made everyone like him that much more. To know that he was actually a nice guy. 

It's You and Me

"If its you and me forever

if its you and me right now

that'd be all right

be all right"

Sometimes.

"Sometimes the person you want the 

most is the person you're

best without."

Truly Mine.

I saw you

and I felt like I would cry

right then and there 

I could see myself crumbling to the ground

tears streaming down my face

calling to you

wanting you to make it better

to fix me

because everything inside me was broken because of you

and on countless nights

I'd lay awake in bed 

wondering what I'd done to deserve all this pain and hurt

wanting to make it right with myself

with you

hoping that somehow

through all that

I'd find a way to fix the broken mess you'd left behind

I wanted to be there for you

to be the one you leaned on

the on you shared your secrets with

I wanted to be the one to take away your pain

and to be the object of your love

instead of loving me

you hurt me

you broke me

fix me. 

I want you back in my life

but I don't know how to get you there 

it's been so long since we've spoken

they say that if you love something

you should let it go

and if it comes back

it was always yours

you haven't come back

you must not have ever been truly mine. 

Lights

Put up Christmas decorations tonight! I know, its a little bit late

to be starting... 

Birthday next week! Sweet 16 (:

♥♥♥

Love Is like...

"Love is like playing the piano. First you must

learn how top play by the rules, then you

must forget the rules and play

from your heart."

Hit the Lights- Selena Gomez & the Scene

Makes me want to dance!!!! (:

I'm really liking this video, and of course I love Selena Gomez! ♥

Love her glasses in the video!!

We Are Young.

Tonight

We are young

So lets set the world on fire

We can burn brighter

Than the sun

I Didn't Change.

Kind of felt like this today

Saw my friend for the first time in a long time today! I missed her. Wish we could have hung out longer.

Still Smiling? Yep!

Things are looking up, and I'm in a smiley mood! (: