I picture your hands moving across the keys with graceful assurance and wonder how can anybody be so perfect? So serene?

To see the way you look down admiringly at the keys as you gently brush each one during your song

and when you've finished, you sit up straight and take a deep breath gently folding your hands in your lap and then you look to me...

11.11.11 What Will You Wish For?

11.11.11

Friday! Have any of you guys got any fun plans for the infamous 11.11.11 that we've been waiting for all year? I think I'm going to a party that my friend is having. 

Do you guys have a wish already planned out? I know I do! I definitely don't want to miss it. Where will you be on 11.11.11 at 11:11?

Life's to Short to be Anything but Happy (:

Things I am currently excited about:

• Three day weekend!
• Thanksgiving break (6 more days of school!)
• CHRISTMAS (I've been singing Christmas songs since the beginning of November)
• my new vintage cruiser bike
• winter
• my birthday (16!)

I can't really think of to many other things, but I'm sure there are more! Have a great day and be happy! 

Smile Because You Can (:

A List of things that make me smile:

• Babies (My friend as THE CUTEST baby cousin in the whole world, I mean, she is just ADORABLE)
• A Crush
• Jokes
• Memories of my trip to Hawaii
• How sometimes I act really crazy and weird
• When perfect strangers say hi (Yeah, I know, this is weird... and it definitely can be in some situations but in the one that I'm thinking about and in most others, its not THAT weird.)
• Knowing that the man I am going to marry is somewhere on this earth, and I could be seeing him everyday, but I just don't know it yet. 
• When I envision my future (working at a magazine?) 
• My friends
• My family
• My dog Molly
• My cat Mocha
• Fall
• Crunchy leaves (My favorite!)

Just because I was in that kind of mood today. Have a great weekend, and don't forget to smile! 

Sweet Sixteen?

So my birthday isn't for like three months, but I've been pondering it and the what the big deal of turning 16 is. I mean sure you get your license and all that, but what else? I feel like 18 would be a much bigger milestone...

Well anyways, that's not the point of this post. What I'm trying to get at is... I don't know how I feel about turning 16. I'm definitely not one of those girls who's like "AAHHH I'm turning 16 I'm so... OLD!!" and then begins wailing into her pillow. Ew. Definitely not like that. But a lot of pressure and a much bigger sense of responsibility comes with turning 16. Also a lot of freedom comes with that too and I'm really looking forward to that part.

I have my permit and everything so I'm set to get my license on my birthday (well a day or two after I think actually) and my mom was telling me "Alana, you need to get your license when you turn 16, you're father and I just don't have the time to drive you everywhere anymore." (My family is going through a very chaotic time right now and constantly hitching rides from my parents is beginning to take a toll). Plus all my friends either can't drive yet, or they are still 16, and in California if you are 16 you can't drive other people. I know that a lot of parents are like "Oh, you can wait to get your license" or they don't even let there kid get it until they're 18, and I think that my parents are pushing me to get my license is making it not fun. Or at least a pressure because I feel as though I'd be letting them down if I don't pass? And I know that you can retake it two weeks later, but still... that's going to be a looooong two weeks.

So do you think I'm just completely chicken for being scared to turn 16 just because of a dumb driving test? I don't do good in situations with a lot of pressure. I mean I feel like a total doofus to be afraid of that but eh... I'm sure I'll get over it, I've still got a few months! Plus I hear the drive test is easy? I hope it is...

My friend just got her license, last week I think, and she said it was an easy test and that it was just a few stop signs/lights, right/left lane changes, driving in a neighborhood, and that was it. So I have nothing to be worried about right? Besides, I think I'm a pretty good driver. But the fact of driving a three thousand pound car all alone sounds a little daunting... Plus I'm a really small person and it's hard for me to see if I'm driving a compact (Sudan style car? Sorry I'm not good with car types...) so that automatically means I've got to drive an SUV. A few weekends ago my parents and I went car shopping for the kind of car they want to get me, and I sat in all of them and it was pretty cool! I found a few cars I liked, my favorite being the 2012 Hyundai Tucson in this color or perhaps red? Who knows! It's actually pretty reasonably priced. I think it was somewhere in between twenty and 25 thousand dollars. Not tooo far off my parents budget. We'll see! I'll keep you posted (;

Fall!

There's somethin bout the way

the street looks when its just rain

there's a glow off the pavement...

So it finally rained here today! It was so amazing, the smell was amazing, I just love rain. 

Fall is finally here, I know the first day  of fall was like two weeks ago, but today is the first day it actually felt like fall, it's supposed to get warmer this week though, so it'll be back to shorts and tank tops tomorrow. Today though, was a good day though. My cousins came out and it was fun to get to see them again, always is. 

I am so excited about some new clothes I ordered from forever21.com! I got some super cute pants,  a tank top, a sweater dress, and a sweater! I'm pretty excited. 

Have a great week everybody! 

Why is there always a Taylor Swift song for whatever mood you're in? I love her!!

I Miss Him.

I passed through your city today

as I sat there I let the memories wash over me

it only seemed fitting that as we drove 

I heard those songs

thoughts of you still linger

as I feel the tires against the pavement beneath me

as we drive farther away from the city

farther and farther away from you 

Being back at school makes me think if you

Makes me wish that I'd see you when I turn the corner

but knowing only disappointment will be there to comfort me

to see that bright blue backpack 

and think for a second that you'd come back

only to see that the face belonged to somebody else

to see your best friend sitting with different people

to not see you. 

That awkward moment when your mom says that you should make a blog but you already have one...

Sophomore Year!

Oh blog, how I've missed you so!

I've been so busy ever since school started! I am trying really hard on maintaining my goals that I set during summer and I must say that I'm doing pretty good! ...With the non academic ones... My life seems to have been taken over by homework and tennis mainly. Its so tiring! Sometimes I wish I could just not do it, but I know that's not going to happen because I'm an overachiever like that...

So there were some cute guys this year, but they were all jerks or perverts. Oh the greatness of being in high school... All the boys are tools. Yay...

Last weekend we had homecoming though! It was really fun, I had an amazing time hanging out with my friends. That was also one of my goals, to make new friends this year. It seems as though I am making a lot of friends, but they are all older, whats the big deal with that? No, there isn't one. Its actually a lot of fun and I like hanging out with them, because they're a lot more like me. So yeah, the dance was fun and probably the only fun until December. I wish our homecoming hadn't been so early... Ugh. Hopefully there will be more fun dances before then.

Surprisingly though, Sophomore year is way more fun than Freshmen year was! Well, I mean, I wasn't surprised, but I was at the same time. Hard to explain, you know? I was just expecting to be really jaded on the whole high school thing, but I don't really think I am yet, and that's good. Really good.

Anyways, hopefully I'll be posting more often!

Almost.

It's always you

that one guy I can never reach

why do you have to be so irresistible?

why am I so predictable?

It's only the beginning

and I hope things can change

but I think to myself and wonder

do I really want them to?

This feeling is hard to let go of

but I know what the end will be

it's almost enough to make me let go

almost.

The Countdown... 0 Days

Summer

Late nights up with friends

Sitting by the fire roasting marshmallows

Summer

Days by the beach

And the smell of suntan lotion

Summer

Drinking pink lemonade

And eating watermelon

Summer

Long bike rides

And romantic picnics

Summer

A time for laughter

A time for smiles

Summer

A chance to transform yourself

to break free

Summer

This is what you'll always mean to me. 

The Countdown... 1 Day

Wow! 2 days left, I'm looking forward to school a little bit more now that I've gone shopping and I got some super amazing stuff! Things I can check off my list from yesterday?

• Knee high socks
• black cardigan
• cute tops
• maxi dress
• pull over sweater

So, today was an accomplishing day! 

Alas, on with my countdown! Today I will give you two lists! One of long term goals for the school year, and one of short term goals. 

Long Term:

• Dress Better
• Get good, really good, grades
• DON'T PROCRASTINATE (we'll see how long that one lasts...)
• Smell good
• STUDY for tests
• Make new friends
• Stay confident
• Wear my hair in different hairstyles other than down or straight
• Be me
• Get a boyfriend?
• Do NOT forget summer 2011
• Be proud of everything I do
• Make real varsity for tennis this year
• Do a spring sport?
• Get drivers license 
• Add variety to my life
• Do something different
• Pass Algebra 2 with an A
• Foreign exchange student?
• DON'T BE SELF CONSCIOUS
• Write. Write. Write!
• Stay fit
• Do extra credit assignments
• Play guitar again
• Wear dresses/skirts more often

Short Term Goals:

• Maintain both my blogs (I don't want to forget them during the school year.)
• Take more pictures
• Look for a job
• Keep up with my journal
• Make cute outfits out of the clothes I already have
• Eat from a taco truck
• Go to SF more
• Tone my stomach
• Get rid of tan line
• Have an awesome 16th birthday!
• Write poetry
• Get a good book!

Well that's about it! I hope you enjoyed these 2 extensive lists. More to come! 

The Countdown... 2 Days

So it's the last weekend before school starts. Yay... I've decided to do a mini countdown of the last days of summer. Include my goals for this school year, things I want for the beginning of the school year, and last thoughts on my summer. Poems, lists, inspirational things like that. Alright, so here we go! 3 days...

Clothes and accessories, as well other miscellaneous objects for the school year:

• Puffer Vest (faux fur lined hood)
• Awesome pair of destroyed jeans
• Knee high socks and tights to pair with boots
• Black Cardigan (can't believe I don't already have one!)
• Cute tops
• Maxi Skirt
• Pull over sweaters/cute long sleeves
• Infinity Scarf
• Good perfume
• Polaroid Camera
• New Phone
• Good Book
• New bedspread

I'll do my best to post a picture of my first day outfit! I have an idea of what it might be, but I'm not sure that I'm going to stick with it. I'm looking for something better, but if I can't find that, then I guess I'll be wearing what I've already chosen! 

Rock, Paper, Scissors- Strategy?

So I found this article on yahoo.com and I thought it was the most interesting thing! Who knew that you could actually win Rock, Paper, Scissors with logical reasoning and not just luck? Cool article, take a look!

How to Win at Rock, Paper, Scissors

School is Almost Here...

There is one week of summer left! Oh how quickly summer escaped my grasp...  I can't decide if I'm ready for it to be school, or if I wish that summer would continue. I mean both summer and school have their pros and cons.

Pros of School:

• More exciting social life (at least for one who hasn't got a car). You get to see your friends everyday.
• A sense of purpose? (naaahhhh)
• Lunchtime (who doesn't love lunchtime at school? It's the best!)
• Your favorite class (English!) 
• Flirting with that guy. (Come on, you ALL know who I'm talking about!) 
• Homecoming
• Buying brand new school supplies. (It's my favorite part of the new year, I love the crisp pages of a brand new notebook, the fresh erasers, perfectly working pens, new folders...)
• The best back to school outfit yet! 
• New clothes!!
• A pretty new bag to hold all your stuff!
• A clean slate! 

Pros of Summer:

• Summer camp!
• Summer romance
• Warm weather
• Great tan!
• Hang with friends anytime you want
• Sleeping in
• Staying up late
• S'mores
• Campfires
• Swimming in the pool
• Vacations to far away places
• Time
• Bikini bod
• Cutest swimsuit
• short shorts, tank tops, and flip flops

And the list goes on! Just like with everything, summer and school do have their cons... 

Cons of School:

• Those girls. You know, the ones that think they own the world. 
• Bad teachers
• Homework and projects
• Waking up early in the morning
• Annoying unattractive guys that tease you, but you know they like you. Ew... 
• Math class.
• PE

I have to say, I thought my list was going to be much longer than that, but I actually kind of like school... The worst thing for me i think is either Math class or those girls. 

Cons of Summer:

• Unbearable heat
• Being stuck in the house because you don't have a car to get you places when your parents are gone. 

And that my friends are the only cons I could think of about summer. Summer truly is an amazing three months that doesn't ever seem to be long enough. Then again, some of my favorite times happen during the school year (Christmas and New Years anyone? Not to mention my birthday!) I also do love the fashion that comes with fall and winter as well. The thought of being cozily bundled up in a jacket and boots is a very gratifying feeling... for me at least. My favorite part is sitting by my fireplace with a good book feeling the heat on my back. 

Alas, I must admit that I've got bittersweet feelings about the end of summer. I had such an unforgettable summer and I don't want any of the memories to get pushed aside by math formulas and history lessons, but I'm sure they probably will. Soon enough this summer will just be words written on a page and memories in the back of my mind. But right now, it's real. And right now, I'm holding on to that for as long as I can. 

It's been over a year

and yet I still think of you every day

I think of our memories

our laughs

our hugs

I don't know why I can't get you out of my head

You're always in the back of my mind

refusing to let me forget you

I wish I could say I hate you for it

but I can't because all I know how to do is love you. 

When I've finally made peace with myself

When I've finally let you go

and accepted things the way they are.

You always find a way to creep back into my life

into by subconscious.

Then I must start over

and learn to be without you again.

Each time it gets harder and harder to forget you. 

Stop It. Stop It! Stop It!!

He's talking to her again.

All the old feelings are returning.

It still hurts me to know that they are together.

That he left me for her. 

He just keeps going back to her.

Only her.

I should be over him by now.

But I'm just not.

I can't be. 

My brain is telling me to stop.

But my heart refuses to listen.

I just want to forget him.

All the memories. 

Everything. 

I'm done. 

This is really getting old...