Camp: The Experience of a Lifetime

So after I wrote down every detail of what I did during my two weeks at summer camp I realized that it would be just plain boring to post it here. No one is going to read it anyways, and I'm sure you couldn't care less about every detail that happened for two straight weeks. So, I am resorting to describing my experience in a few short paragraphs rather than a novel (It takes up over 20 pages in my journal, and I'm not even done yet!).

IT Crew 2011! Represent! 

Anyways, my two weeks at summer camp were simply... amazing. wonderful. magical. outstanding. fantastic. extraordinary. marvelous. And even all these adjectives don't even come close to the experience I had at camp. I found myself so comfortable with a group of 31 other teens that I had just met. We became a family, and I've been home for almost two weeks now, and yet, it doesn't feel like "home". Camp feels like my home.

Here are our lovely faces again!

I feel like us 32 teens truly grew as individuals over the course of the two weeks. We became more mature,  we had to live up to the expectations of our counselors and coordinators. We had a responsibility to the campers to give them the best experience possible. To make them want to come back. To make them see why we love camp so much, and why we keep coming back every year. Because we love it. The scenery, the fact that it is so far away from everything and everyone makes you feel as though you're living in a bubble. In your own, beautiful, perfect bubble. I don't really know how else to describe it other than that. To breath the fresh air, and be surrounded by towering trees who's branches sound as though they sing in the wind. You can hear them softly brushing... To feel the soft dirt beneath your feet. Indescribable.

If you look really close you can see a person up there!
No joke. 

The caption for this on Facebook
was "Giant meets dwarf"
so true... 

We learned how to solve conflicts between kids, taught them how to interact with each other, how to be a good role model for them, and to lead them in group activities. Also we learned how to organize an event and how to lead a group to finish the task quickly and efficiently. Our counselors trusted us to organize, decorate, and host a talent show, a dance, and a carnival. I especially had fun this year more so than my previous years at camp, because being an L.I.T. (leader in training) actually gave me a purpose for being at camp. The experience was more fulfilling because I knew that I was making a difference for all those kids that were at camp those two weeks. That I was facilitating those campers in having as good of an experience that I was. Some of the kids were truly wonderful human beings. The way they would look at you and you knew that they looked up to you so much. And that they were appreciative towards you. That they wanted to be your friend. That they accepted you no matter who you were, what you wore, what you looked like. And that is the most amazing gift I think one human can receive from another. The gift of unconditional acceptance.

Two of the most amazing people I met at camp! 

Here we are again!

As for the 31 other people I spent most of my time with, they were all individuals that all had their own skills to bring to the table. Whether it be for helping us decorate for the dance or the talent show. Or for coming up with good games for the carnival. There was so much diversity in our group. People of all different races, people from different backgrounds, rich people, poor people, tall people, short people etc. We even had two boys from Germany (which were VERY cute if I may say so myself! And yes, I did do a little bit of flirting. It was successful might I add.) and another boy who traveled all the way from Thailand! This provided us insight on the way other people live, and insight on cultures other than American. I made some really good friends during my stay at YMCA Camp Jones Gulch, and I really hope to maintain them until next year. I am planning on being a C.I.T. (counselor in training) next year and then after than a J.C. (junior counselor) and perhaps after that, I can be a counselor.

Acting silly at the Carnival!

Another amazing girl I met at camp!

Yes, there are two people.
Yes, there is one jacket. 

Somewhere Only We Know- Keane 

This was pretty much our camp motto, camp song, camp everything. It truly is somewhere only we know, and we love it. 

Sneak Preview!

So I was thinking just now about what my goal for summer was. My goal was for this summer to be magical and memorable. I think the past two weeks at summer camp really have made this summer magical and memorable even if it wasn't because of the reasons I'd originally had in mind. Life is about taking what you've got and running with it. About making the most out of what you have instead of pining for more, or wishing that something wasn't the it is. I learned that this summer.



P.S. I know I said that my post on summer camp was coming soon, and it is! I've been working on it since I've gotten home... literally! It's super long, and I'm sure none of you will read the whole thing, but this blog is just as much for me as it is for you! So i'm gunna put it up even though it will be ridiculously long. I promise I did attempt at being funny, but I do't know how successful it will be! Love you guys!

Coming Soon: Camp!

Hey all!

So I just got back from camp on Friday, it was the most life changing experience I've ever had. It was the best two weeks of my life! I can't even begin to describe the way that I've grown and it was amazing that I got to do it with 31 other amazing boys and girls.

I don't think I'll ever forget Summer 2011. This camp really turned my summer around. Completely.

Of course there were cute boys there, and I'll have the rundown on all that soon, but I just wanted to post and say that Yes, I am still alive, and yes an update is on its way. It will be pretty long I'm afraid, and I've been working on it since I've gotten home. So, yeah. It was just an amazing and indescribable experience all around. I miss camp already and even though I was only there for two weeks, it feels as though it is my home, and I left my second family behind. Truly.

Camp!

Alas, I am off to camp for two weeks! TWO! I've never been gone this long, so I'm a little apprehensive, but I'm sure that I'll have an amazing time, always do!

So I won't be able to post for a little while, and its not as if anyone reads this blog, but I like to think that some people out there do. So yeah...

I promise I'll have a full update about what happened when i get back!

Cute Spanish boys anybody? (;

Let the camp experience... BEGIN!

Sometimes people will say negative things about you
All you can do is turn your cheek and look the other way
Be the bigger person and don't let it affect you.
Don't stoop to their level and react to what they say by doing the same thing as them
It's their loss that they don't see the amazing things about you
Now you know there's one less person to please in the world.
Just keep your head held high
Your eyes free of tears
Your heart strong
No one can conquer your happiness and bring you down
Remember
The only person who's thoughts really matter are your own.

Will It Really Matter?

Will it really matter in 10 years?
When your successful
and they're living off coupons in a trashy neighborhood.
When you've got plush carpets
and they've got a floor littered with beer bottles.
Where you see a sunset
they see through the window of the RV next door while drunken men play poker.
When you have the dream job
and they're stuck flipping burgers for minimum wage.
While you drink champagne
they mix vodka and seven up.
Will it matter in 15 years?
When you find the perfect husband
and they have to settle for one they met while drunk in Vegas.
In 30 years?
When you send your child to an Ivy league college
and theirs flunks out of high school junior year.
How about in 40 years?
When you have the perfect family and grandchildren
and they have a broken, cut off family.
Maybe in 50 years?
When you have the perfect retirement
and they won't ever be able to comprehend the concept, having to work until they die.
Tell me, does it really matter?


Well, this is something I wrote one night when I was angry, very angry. You see, this girl, who I'm not very fond of said some not very nice things behind my back. I didn't appreciate it very much, but I let it roll off my shoulders. Plus, writing this poem did help (: More to come!

My New Obsession!

Alright, so, I've got a new website obsession!

www.weheartit.com, BEST SITE EVER! It is super addicting. It's basically a site that you go on to look search through tons of inspirational pictures. The idea of the website is that everyone has a "heart" page where there are all the pictures that they have "hearted" whether its on the website itself, or if the pictures are from another website. It is basically like having a ton of pictures that show your heart. What inspires you or what makes you think.

I'm going to figure out how to put a widget onto my blogs, so then you guys can all view my heart!

Love you guys!

Something New and Possibly Very Strange...

So today I was looking in my fridge, hungry of course, when I decided I wanted some green olives. My dad then came in and suggested I eat some cottage cheese, so I took that out of the  refrigerator as well. I looked at the two things in my hand, cottage cheese in the left and olives in the right. It then occurred to me, "What do they taste like together?" So... being the daring person I was, I decided to give it a try.

I popped an olive in my mouth and followed it up with some cottage cheese.

: : : om nom nom : : :

Could it be? It actually tasted good!

And that my friends is the story of how I found a new snack. Yummm... I know it sounds absolutely disgusting... but try it (:

Have a happy day!

P.S. It is SUMMER! Yessss (: time for late night writing sessions, sitting on the couch all day, lounging around with a book in hand, swimming, tennis... etc! Have an cool summer (:

P.S.S. I'm sorry that pun was so lame and it sounded really cliche, but I couldn't resist <3

Him... Again...

So I post every time I saw the guy that moved. I saw him a few weeks ago, but I didn't post about it because I was to mad.

So, I thought me and this guy were pretty good friends, not tell each-other-everything friends but at least good enough friends to be friends ( I realize that may sound confusing... but I don't know how else to say it...) We texted a lot, and always talked at school during the one class we had together, and sometimes he would wave at me in the hallways. Anyways, I was at the movies with my friends and we were watching Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. It was a pretty good movie, I don't think I've seen the most recent before this one because I was a bit confused with some of the references and the reason for the loss of certain characters.

But anyways, that's not the point. The point is, is that when my friends and I were leaving the theater room I was looking around at the people to see if I knew anyone. Then I saw him, I about peed my pants! I was so excited and happy and all that jazz. So I quickly tell my friends (Jane and Hannah) "You guys, that's him! That's the junior guy I told you about!" (By the way, I did say his name, but I'm just not going to write it here. Sorry!) At this point he was walking a slight ways in front of us. "Say hi to him!" they said, and so, knowing that this was going to be my only opportunity to say hi to him in person for a while, I decided to go for it. "James*!" I called, he didn't turn, "James*!" I called again, this time a little louder. He had a can of Arizona Iced Tea in his hand, when he finally heard me, he turned around with a blank expression on his face, said "Hey." Again with a completely blank face, and turned around and walked away.

I couldn't believe it. I just stood there, stunned. My friends turned to me and said, "Weren't you guys good friends?" Of course we were good friends! He told me he missed me!!!! I was confused and annoyed. Jane and I waited outside the bathroom for Hannah and as we were waiting he was at the front of the theater. I saw him glance a time or two my way but not so much as even a smile. I had worked myself into quite the mood by the time my friends mom dropped me off. I was angry and embarrassed that he'd only said "hey". After all the gushing I'd done to my friends and it was a real let down for him to only say one word to me.

Once home, I posted my status on Facebook as "Pirates of the Caribbean (:" and then he LIKED IT! I was just like "...what the heck?" then I shook it off and thought to myself, "whatever, he probably liked the movie too." So I started chatting with one of my friends on Facebook and then my mom came out so I talked to my mom for a few minutes and then told her I needed to get back to my friend Claudia. So I went to check her message and guess what?! He had chatted me. At this point I was passed caring about it, but I was still slightly annoyed with him, especially that he wanted to talk now when we had had a perfect chance to talk in person! He has said "yo" so I responded "hey". He proceeded to not respond for like 5 minutes! Finally I added "So all I get is a "hey" and a "yo"?" He responded "lol haha I'm about to pass out ill text you when I get my phone back. Goodnight! (:" I was so frustrated all I said was "Night." Thinking to myself "yeah right, suuuuuure you'll text me...". Boys are so stupid and so annoying! He has yet to text me.
Screw. Him.

*Name changed.

12 Days!

I feel so drained of motivation. I think its the summer fever coming on. I find myself not being able to focus in my classes, I'm staying up much later than I should be, and I can't find the already dwindling desire to do my homework. I'll be sitting down, with my homework in front of me, and I'll just stare at it. I am beginning to become a procrastinator. Not good. Thank goodness there's only 12 days of school left (not including weekends or memorial day), so thats not to much time for my bad behaviors to turn into habits. So I'm not really worried.

Our yearbooks came out today! I haven't picked mine up yet because I took one look at the line and said "Screw it, I'm going home". I was just in one of those moods today where all I wanted was to be at home doing absolutely nothing. Those days are soon to come though (:

Have a great day everybody!



Take a look at my other blog! Fierce Fashion. 

It's Been Awhile!

I'm so sorry I haven't been blogging on here lately! I've just been so busy with homework and projects and finals, and also working on my other blog Fierce Fashion! I've been so tired that I just haven't really found the time to blog...

The countdown to summer has begun! There's 16 days left! YESSS!!!! I just want it to be summer. Don't get me wrong, I love high school, but it's so stressful! You have to deal with all the crap that people give you, and its not just students, teachers too! Ugh. I just want to be a kid again...

My plans for summer? Not a lot, just going to go to summer camp again (: that's always a fun time! My mom hasn't got anything else planned... so everything is probably just going to be last minute, boring kind of thing. I'll also probably be playing a lot of tennis!

I hadn't really planned out this post, it was more of just a spur of the moment kind of thing, so that's why it's not very good... or organized... I hope you are having a great end of the school year! 16 days left people!! Yayyy!

Organization

I need to do some organizing. 

Not just of my room, but of my mind. 

I find myself being inspired less and less to write these days, and I dont like that. I feel as though the only way to get somewhere, is to change something. Clear my mind, and become inspired by the little things in life again. You know, those days when heartbreak wasn't the only thing that evoked such strong feelings. When the sight of a leaf falling to the ground or the way the sun hit the water just right as it gleamed. When words inspired you, you know, the way it felt as it rolled off your tongue and it's as if the word was palpable.

 I've been faced with a lot of decisions I need to make and opportunities I should take and it's all really stressful. There's so much work I need to do and I just can't find it in me to do it. Stress does not equal good inspiration. I guess I just need to buckle down and get it done because if I can take this opportunity, it'll open up so many doors for me. 

Spring Break!

I swear to God! I hate being sick... :/ I haven't been posting anything!!! I hate it. I've just been so tired that I haven't been up to posting anything in depth. I'm starting to feel better so I'm sure something of worth will be coming soon!! (: Besides, its spring break next week! I am so excited! I'm going to L.A!!
I'm sure it'll be tons of fun. Well anyways, just thought I'd add this quick and totally pointless post. Hopefully I'll be posting soon!!

Sunny Days at the Park with Ice Cream

An ice cream truck just passed my house. As soon as I heard the familiar tune I was transported back to my days as a child living in the bay area. I remember being at the park on warm sunny days and hearing that jingle. I remember running to my mom begging her for a dollar so I could get ice cream. I would always get the same thing, an ice cream sandwich.

It's amazing how hearing a single jingle can bring back so many old memories. I just remember being a child and how easy it was, how carefree I could be. I miss that. Lately I feel like my life is super busy and I wish I could go back to the simple times of being a child. When my biggest worry was whether or not my shoes matched my dress, or that I got the best mat for story time. That the only time I was hurt was when I skinned my knee, but I knew that if mommy kissed it, that would make everything better. That my biggest problem was the answer to 2+2. But unfortunately my problems are more complicated and 2+2 doesn't always equal 4. That just because you do all the right things and you say all the right things doesn't mean you'll get it right. You learn that "mommy's kiss" can't make everything better. That sometimes you just have to clench your teeth, hold your head high and work through the pain because you know it'll be over eventually and you will be stronger for having overcome it. That in the end, you can be the bigger person, you can get it all right, and that, yes, in math class 2+2 always equals 4, but in life sometimes it doesn't, and you have to learn to adapt to that. To learn the ways of the world and grow into the best person you can be.

My Other Blog!

Hey guys!

Check out my other blog called Fierce Fashion! I made it because I really wanted to write about fashion, but at the same time I wanted to maintain the whole idea of this blog, which is more personal, more raw. So anyways, I hope you check it out! Follow, comment, anything is great!

If the link doesn't work its: www.fiercefashion-as.blogspot.com

I'm a Teen Vogue It Girl!

So on a whim I decided to sign up for this "program" where us girls that read Teen Vogue can take surveys and put or input about the magazine. You also get discounts and opportunities to enter sweepstakes to win designer clothes and handbags and accessories and anything else! It sounds really cool. Today, I took my first survey about hair care. It was really interesting and it seems like a great way to expose myself to more of the fashion world. Lately i've become really interested in fashion, I kind of want to get a job working for a fashion magazine. The only problem? A lot of fashion magazines are based in New York. Where do I live? ALL the way in California. Not very convenient huh? But, I think that I might be able to do some stuff out of LA. At least thats what I'm hoping.... Who knows.

Anyways, I've been looking at a lot of websites about designers and looking up good books to read to help me be more fashion forward and learn about more designers and expose myself more to different aspects of fashion. I've just started, but I figure I've got at least three years to do my homework (;
So far I really like Zac Posen and Vena Cava. They seem like really relatable designers.

My favorite trends of the season so far are: plaid, florals (of course), color blocking, rocker chic kind of look,  and a few more...
My least favorite is probably the maxi skirts, me being so short (as in barely five feet tall) I dont think that look would quite work for me, although I would be open to trying it. But I'd probably take my chances with the good old mini (; I dont really like fifties inspired clothing either... I just don't see the point... Military inspired clothing just isnt really my thing, I dont think I'd be able to pull it off very well.

Well, I kind of think that I want to put more fashion type stuff on this blog, since that interests me the most right now, plus writing about fashion just sounds so amazing! I'll try to post more, but no guarantees...

I really love this Chris Benz look! The dress is beautiful
and the heels just top it all off!

Who Says?

Who says

Who says you’re not perfect

Who says you’re not worth it

Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting

Trust me

That’s the price of beauty

Who says you’re not pretty

Who says you’re not beautiful

Who says 

I was inspired for this post by the song, "Who Says" by Selena Gomez. I think it's an amazing song and it's got a great message. 
To me it's about who really controls your life. Who says, who calls the shots? 
Is it your parents?
Your friends?
Your teachers?
Role models?
Or is it you?
You call the shots in your life! You should give no one the right to put you down. To tell you that you can't do anything you put your mind to. You are capable of anything you want to do. You're not the only one that's going through troubles, whether it may be high school drama or anything else. Other people, other girls, other guys, they go through it too. It's all apart of growing up. Just don't let anybody put you down and tell you that you're not worth it. Because you are. You are worth everything. You're perfect just the way you are and you shouldn't change yourself for anyone. 
I've taken a lot from this song and it really has helped me have a more positive outlook on my high school career. I learned that I shouldn't really care what other people think of me. I'm perfect. I'm worth it. And no one can take that away from me. 
You may have taken something completely different from this song, but its all the same really, as long as it helps us all in our own individual ways. 

Have a lovely day! (:

So I've got two poems I'd like to share with you... I've been feeling a little down lately. I don't really know how to explain it. But I think you'll get the picture when you read these...

I want to let my emotions run free
But I just don't have the words to express how I'm feeling
It's a combination of a lot of things
That just don't seem to fit together
I feel so lonely
I feel like there's no one who truly understands the way I feel now
And I know people write it off
And think, "Oh, she's just a teenager"
But I'm tired of being stereotyped and mocked by higher society
All I want is someone to help me get through the lonely days that I am exiled to what feels only like a prison
I stare out the windows longing to break free of the invisible chains that bind me to my seat
To feel free
To live again
To laugh
I feel as though the four walls will cave in around me
I feel stuck and claustrophobic
I just want to break free of the funk I'm in.



Lately I feel as though everything has been going wrong
Everyone is sad
Maybe its the weather
But I think its probably more than that
Why does everyone expect me to be able to cheer them up?
Don't they know that I'm a person
I hurt too
No one seems to remember that
Best friends are supposed to be there
And put you before anyone else
I wish mine weren't so busy
and maybe they'd notice that I'm human
And I have feelings too.
I'm giving so much and and getting nothing in return
Soon enough my bucket will be empty
And I'll have nothing left to give.

I guess I did like him. 

I guess I did like my best friend. But never do you realize that until you loose them to some other girl. 

He's still in love with her, and I have no idea why. She's really not very nice. 

It seems as though he deserves better, and I'm not saying I'm the better he needs. But even if I'm not the better in his life, he deserves someone better than her. 

He's so sweet and would crawl to the ends of the Earth for her, but I know she wouldn't do the same. She's just not that kind of girl. Maybe she was different around him, but from what I know of her, I doubt she was. 

I'll still help him get her back, and then smile and be happy for him. Because if he's happy, then hey, so am I. He's still one of my best guy friends and a good one to have around. (: 

Coincidence? Or Fate?

I didn't know who he was. I hadn't given him much thought. 

I had a dream about him. 

Three days later he was sitting in on my photography class. Staring at me. Like he knew. 

Three days after that he walked by me in the hallways. We made eye contact. 

Ten hours later I saw him at my gym. He saw me then too. 

The next day I passed him in the halls again. 

After school I drove out of the parking lot behind him. 

Oh Boy. I hope he doesn't think I'm stalking him... I don't know whether to be creeped out by this or not. But I'm pretty positive its just a bunch of coincidences happening... I hope it is. But who knows, maybe its something more... seriously doubt it though.