12 Days!

I feel so drained of motivation. I think its the summer fever coming on. I find myself not being able to focus in my classes, I'm staying up much later than I should be, and I can't find the already dwindling desire to do my homework. I'll be sitting down, with my homework in front of me, and I'll just stare at it. I am beginning to become a procrastinator. Not good. Thank goodness there's only 12 days of school left (not including weekends or memorial day), so thats not to much time for my bad behaviors to turn into habits. So I'm not really worried.

Our yearbooks came out today! I haven't picked mine up yet because I took one look at the line and said "Screw it, I'm going home". I was just in one of those moods today where all I wanted was to be at home doing absolutely nothing. Those days are soon to come though (:

Have a great day everybody!



Take a look at my other blog! Fierce Fashion. 

It's Been Awhile!

I'm so sorry I haven't been blogging on here lately! I've just been so busy with homework and projects and finals, and also working on my other blog Fierce Fashion! I've been so tired that I just haven't really found the time to blog...

The countdown to summer has begun! There's 16 days left! YESSS!!!! I just want it to be summer. Don't get me wrong, I love high school, but it's so stressful! You have to deal with all the crap that people give you, and its not just students, teachers too! Ugh. I just want to be a kid again...

My plans for summer? Not a lot, just going to go to summer camp again (: that's always a fun time! My mom hasn't got anything else planned... so everything is probably just going to be last minute, boring kind of thing. I'll also probably be playing a lot of tennis!

I hadn't really planned out this post, it was more of just a spur of the moment kind of thing, so that's why it's not very good... or organized... I hope you are having a great end of the school year! 16 days left people!! Yayyy!

Organization

I need to do some organizing. 

Not just of my room, but of my mind. 

I find myself being inspired less and less to write these days, and I dont like that. I feel as though the only way to get somewhere, is to change something. Clear my mind, and become inspired by the little things in life again. You know, those days when heartbreak wasn't the only thing that evoked such strong feelings. When the sight of a leaf falling to the ground or the way the sun hit the water just right as it gleamed. When words inspired you, you know, the way it felt as it rolled off your tongue and it's as if the word was palpable.

 I've been faced with a lot of decisions I need to make and opportunities I should take and it's all really stressful. There's so much work I need to do and I just can't find it in me to do it. Stress does not equal good inspiration. I guess I just need to buckle down and get it done because if I can take this opportunity, it'll open up so many doors for me. 

Spring Break!

I swear to God! I hate being sick... :/ I haven't been posting anything!!! I hate it. I've just been so tired that I haven't been up to posting anything in depth. I'm starting to feel better so I'm sure something of worth will be coming soon!! (: Besides, its spring break next week! I am so excited! I'm going to L.A!!
I'm sure it'll be tons of fun. Well anyways, just thought I'd add this quick and totally pointless post. Hopefully I'll be posting soon!!

Sunny Days at the Park with Ice Cream

An ice cream truck just passed my house. As soon as I heard the familiar tune I was transported back to my days as a child living in the bay area. I remember being at the park on warm sunny days and hearing that jingle. I remember running to my mom begging her for a dollar so I could get ice cream. I would always get the same thing, an ice cream sandwich.

It's amazing how hearing a single jingle can bring back so many old memories. I just remember being a child and how easy it was, how carefree I could be. I miss that. Lately I feel like my life is super busy and I wish I could go back to the simple times of being a child. When my biggest worry was whether or not my shoes matched my dress, or that I got the best mat for story time. That the only time I was hurt was when I skinned my knee, but I knew that if mommy kissed it, that would make everything better. That my biggest problem was the answer to 2+2. But unfortunately my problems are more complicated and 2+2 doesn't always equal 4. That just because you do all the right things and you say all the right things doesn't mean you'll get it right. You learn that "mommy's kiss" can't make everything better. That sometimes you just have to clench your teeth, hold your head high and work through the pain because you know it'll be over eventually and you will be stronger for having overcome it. That in the end, you can be the bigger person, you can get it all right, and that, yes, in math class 2+2 always equals 4, but in life sometimes it doesn't, and you have to learn to adapt to that. To learn the ways of the world and grow into the best person you can be.

My Other Blog!

Hey guys!

Check out my other blog called Fierce Fashion! I made it because I really wanted to write about fashion, but at the same time I wanted to maintain the whole idea of this blog, which is more personal, more raw. So anyways, I hope you check it out! Follow, comment, anything is great!

If the link doesn't work its: www.fiercefashion-as.blogspot.com

I'm a Teen Vogue It Girl!

So on a whim I decided to sign up for this "program" where us girls that read Teen Vogue can take surveys and put or input about the magazine. You also get discounts and opportunities to enter sweepstakes to win designer clothes and handbags and accessories and anything else! It sounds really cool. Today, I took my first survey about hair care. It was really interesting and it seems like a great way to expose myself to more of the fashion world. Lately i've become really interested in fashion, I kind of want to get a job working for a fashion magazine. The only problem? A lot of fashion magazines are based in New York. Where do I live? ALL the way in California. Not very convenient huh? But, I think that I might be able to do some stuff out of LA. At least thats what I'm hoping.... Who knows.

Anyways, I've been looking at a lot of websites about designers and looking up good books to read to help me be more fashion forward and learn about more designers and expose myself more to different aspects of fashion. I've just started, but I figure I've got at least three years to do my homework (;
So far I really like Zac Posen and Vena Cava. They seem like really relatable designers.

My favorite trends of the season so far are: plaid, florals (of course), color blocking, rocker chic kind of look,  and a few more...
My least favorite is probably the maxi skirts, me being so short (as in barely five feet tall) I dont think that look would quite work for me, although I would be open to trying it. But I'd probably take my chances with the good old mini (; I dont really like fifties inspired clothing either... I just don't see the point... Military inspired clothing just isnt really my thing, I dont think I'd be able to pull it off very well.

Well, I kind of think that I want to put more fashion type stuff on this blog, since that interests me the most right now, plus writing about fashion just sounds so amazing! I'll try to post more, but no guarantees...

I really love this Chris Benz look! The dress is beautiful
and the heels just top it all off!

Who Says?

Who says

Who says you’re not perfect

Who says you’re not worth it

Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting

Trust me

That’s the price of beauty

Who says you’re not pretty

Who says you’re not beautiful

Who says 

I was inspired for this post by the song, "Who Says" by Selena Gomez. I think it's an amazing song and it's got a great message. 
To me it's about who really controls your life. Who says, who calls the shots? 
Is it your parents?
Your friends?
Your teachers?
Role models?
Or is it you?
You call the shots in your life! You should give no one the right to put you down. To tell you that you can't do anything you put your mind to. You are capable of anything you want to do. You're not the only one that's going through troubles, whether it may be high school drama or anything else. Other people, other girls, other guys, they go through it too. It's all apart of growing up. Just don't let anybody put you down and tell you that you're not worth it. Because you are. You are worth everything. You're perfect just the way you are and you shouldn't change yourself for anyone. 
I've taken a lot from this song and it really has helped me have a more positive outlook on my high school career. I learned that I shouldn't really care what other people think of me. I'm perfect. I'm worth it. And no one can take that away from me. 
You may have taken something completely different from this song, but its all the same really, as long as it helps us all in our own individual ways. 

Have a lovely day! (:

So I've got two poems I'd like to share with you... I've been feeling a little down lately. I don't really know how to explain it. But I think you'll get the picture when you read these...

I want to let my emotions run free
But I just don't have the words to express how I'm feeling
It's a combination of a lot of things
That just don't seem to fit together
I feel so lonely
I feel like there's no one who truly understands the way I feel now
And I know people write it off
And think, "Oh, she's just a teenager"
But I'm tired of being stereotyped and mocked by higher society
All I want is someone to help me get through the lonely days that I am exiled to what feels only like a prison
I stare out the windows longing to break free of the invisible chains that bind me to my seat
To feel free
To live again
To laugh
I feel as though the four walls will cave in around me
I feel stuck and claustrophobic
I just want to break free of the funk I'm in.



Lately I feel as though everything has been going wrong
Everyone is sad
Maybe its the weather
But I think its probably more than that
Why does everyone expect me to be able to cheer them up?
Don't they know that I'm a person
I hurt too
No one seems to remember that
Best friends are supposed to be there
And put you before anyone else
I wish mine weren't so busy
and maybe they'd notice that I'm human
And I have feelings too.
I'm giving so much and and getting nothing in return
Soon enough my bucket will be empty
And I'll have nothing left to give.

I guess I did like him. 

I guess I did like my best friend. But never do you realize that until you loose them to some other girl. 

He's still in love with her, and I have no idea why. She's really not very nice. 

It seems as though he deserves better, and I'm not saying I'm the better he needs. But even if I'm not the better in his life, he deserves someone better than her. 

He's so sweet and would crawl to the ends of the Earth for her, but I know she wouldn't do the same. She's just not that kind of girl. Maybe she was different around him, but from what I know of her, I doubt she was. 

I'll still help him get her back, and then smile and be happy for him. Because if he's happy, then hey, so am I. He's still one of my best guy friends and a good one to have around. (: 

Coincidence? Or Fate?

I didn't know who he was. I hadn't given him much thought. 

I had a dream about him. 

Three days later he was sitting in on my photography class. Staring at me. Like he knew. 

Three days after that he walked by me in the hallways. We made eye contact. 

Ten hours later I saw him at my gym. He saw me then too. 

The next day I passed him in the halls again. 

After school I drove out of the parking lot behind him. 

Oh Boy. I hope he doesn't think I'm stalking him... I don't know whether to be creeped out by this or not. But I'm pretty positive its just a bunch of coincidences happening... I hope it is. But who knows, maybe its something more... seriously doubt it though. 

Hawaii: Outer Body Experiences and Cute Boys

         My family and I have been staying in Hawaii (on the island of Maui) since last Saturday, we just got home this morning (Which is the next Saturday). Let me just start this post off my saying, if you have not been to Hawaii yet, YOU NEED TO GO! It is the best trip you will EVER have. It is worth every single penny, I promise you. You can take my word for it. My family and I had an amazing time and we didn't want to leave when it was time for us to check out. 

        Anyways, the point that I wanted to make was that during this trip, I really didn't feel anything like myself. I mean of course I did, but it was kind o like those outer body sensational feelings, you know? I knew it was me doing all the activities but I still felt as though I was a third party observer (the real me). The me that was out there and occupying my body for the majority of the trip was outgoing, confident, and knew all the right things to say at exactly the right time. That's me, but that's kind of like my alter ego. I guess that's a good description for it.

        My first out of body experience started on Wednesday (three days ago). We were driving the road to Hana. (Its this big long and very windy road. There are stops all along where you can get out and hike trails, look at waterfalls, look out at amazing scenic views, and go by the ocean, whether it be on rocks or on a sandy beach. It is a great experience, and if you ever go, I suggest you do that.) Normally I am not any sort of adventurous or woodsy kind of person, but that day, I was hiking all the trails and I was in the most adventurous mood! My parents had to stop me from doing things that might have been to dangerous for me to do... I still had a lot of fun though.

        My second out of body experience was the next night, Thursday. My family and I had an... eventful afternoon to say the least (the nature of which events will remain concealed) and we were down by the restaurant eating our dinner. My mom told me that I should "go do something teenagerie for once, you always hang out with us adults. Its got to bore you. Go have fun, please, for me?" and so alas, I drug my butt off my nice cushioned seat and went out by the pool deck. It was about 8 o'clock at night Hawaiian time so it was dark out by then. I proceeded to wander aimlessly around the pool deck for a few minutes until i finally settled myself down in a cabana. Once seated I looked to see if there was anyone near me, indeed there was, it was none other than the boy who had been checking me out all week. He was fairly attractive and had a nice body, but he was a little young. So my playful and outgoing side decided to perform a small (and private, meaning he didn't know about it) experiment. The experiment was simple, all I was going to do was see if I could get this guy (who was obviously interested in me) to talk to me. To even just say a few words. I sat there on a lounge chair (just about three away from him) for about 15 minutes and then i decided to wander out onto the beach, I stayed there for a while and I soon turned to see him out there as well. I stayed there a little while longer and then went back to the cabana. He soon followed. We continued to do this all night. Finally, after about 2 hours, I gave up. This guy was not getting any of the hints that I was dropping (i.e. the smiles and the following him etc.) I decided that this boy was not worth my time and I had consequently wasted a good hour and a half of my life. Lesson learned on that one...

        My third, and final, out of body experience for my trip to Hawaii was yesterday. Friday, the day I was leaving and ironically, my favorite day of all. That was the day I finally met a boy that made as much effort to talk to me as i did for him. He was perfect. He was gorgeous. He was... he was himself. It all started while I was lying in a miniature cabana with my mother, we had rented one all day and were drinking up as much vitamin D before the plane ride home would suck it all out of us. He and his family came and rented a cabana a little ways down. Long story shorter, i finally decided to get my lazy butt up and into the ocean. Besides, I knew that as I walked down there he was going to be checking me out on my way (hey, no judgement(;). When i finally managed to get my entire body and head under the water i felt as very accomplished just to be in it. As my mom and I were splashing around in the ocean, he and his father decided they wanted to come "diving for rocks" at that same moment. So they came out and started swimming beside us. A few minutes later my mother (my right hand wing woman who knows exactly how to help without even asking) asked his father, "Are you diving for anything in particular?" this then stroke a conversation up between her and his dad, consequently meaning a conversation for me and him. He asked me where I was from and I told him, we continued conversing and the subject of age came up. He said he'd just graduated from high school and I said I was just starting. He was very surprised and I just took it as a compliment for lack of any other way of wanting to take it.
        My father then joined us in the ocean and the 5 of us swam apart for a few minutes. My mom then decided to get out of the pool, then his father, and then he went to go get his sunglasses and sit in the ocean where the waves lapped the shore. My father then decided that he was getting cold and it was only me left in the water and him on the shore. I swam around aimlessly for a few more minutes, decided I was getting cold and decided to make my way in. The undertow current was very strong so it was hard to stay standing and get out of the ocean gracefully. When I had finally made my way out I really wanted to talk to him, so I just opened my mouth and practically blurted "Wow, its really hard to get out of there! The current is pretty strong right now." He couldn't hear me the first time and so the outgoing and self confident part of me went and sat down next to him and repeated my sentence. Once I was seated I couldn't believe what I had just done. I started freaking out (in my head of course) and thinking to myself, "What if he didn't want me to sit here? What if he's not interested? I'm making a total fool out of myself! I can't believe I sat down here! Go me! Oh no, I wonder what he thinks though!" and so on and so forth. He didn't seem to mind though and we engaged in several minutes of conversation. He asked me questions and I asked and answered some back. A little ways into the conversation he said to me "Oh, my name's Brad by the way. I'm sure you're wondering why is this guy talking to me? I don't even know his name" I kind of laughed because I figured that that would be the exact thing he would be thinking of me, and I thought it ironic how he said he was talking to me when I was the one to go and sit down next to him. But it was nice. Again, I replied with a laugh and, "Nice to meet you, I'm Alana." We continued our conversing until a particularly large wave came and hit us both in the face and at the same time we both said "Alright, I'm gettin' up". He went into the ocean and I wasn't sure that he wanted me to follow so I just went up the hill to the shower. After that I went to get a smoothie to wipe the salt taste out of my mouth. I saw him walking a ways behind me and when I got to the snack counter and he eventually passed behind me, I gave him a smile and he nodded and smiled back and went upstairs. I got my smoothie, and that's the end of that session.

Things I learned about Brad:

1. He likes to skateboard
2. He went snowboarding for the first time in Colorado recently
3. He likes the Denver Nuggets
4. He is from Kentucky (and has the slightest and sweetest little accent to come with it)
5. He has two tattoos (I'm not sure what they are of...)
6. He has both ears pierced
7. He recently graduated from High School
8. He is moving to Hawaii
9. Going to college for 2 years
10. He is staying until next Wednesday, and he got there last Thursday night
11. Detailed agenda of what they are doing each day

        About half an hour later he came back down freshly clean from a shower wearing a blue and white stripped shirt with khaki cargo shorts and white flip flops. He had on his aviators as well. He looked, well, handsome, cute, fashionable, good, awesome, anyyyy of those adjectives. He went over to his parents and he returned the snorkel stuff they had used and then they decided to go in. My mom had already gone in so it was just my dad and I. My father, being the CENTS-able person he is wanted to stay in the cabana until 5 because we had paid thirty dollars at 11 in the morning to stay until 5 and he wanted his money's worth. I decided that I wanted to go upstairs and take a shower because I really had sand in places sand should really never be. Ever. He and his family were walking a little ways ahead of me and they went to the snack bar to order a pizza. He must have seen me walk behind them because I had barely rounded the corner to the elevators when he came after me. I was waiting for the elevator when he rounded the corner and stood beside me. We were talking and our elevator came. I got in and pushed floor 11 and get got in and pressed floor 6. The doors were just closing when his mother came around the corner and asked him for the money that was in the little pack on his back. He was getting the money out with one foot in the elevator and one out blocking the motion detector so it wouldn't close. Apparently he had stood there for too long and it began to close on him anyways. He moved out of the way of the elevator (which unfortunately was outside of it) and the door closing between us. That was the last I saw of Brad. After I had taken my shower I put something cute on (even though I knew i was going to have to change for the plane ride home) because I thought I just might come across him somewhere in the hotel. Did I? No. Of course I didn't. I just cant help imagining what might have happened had the elevator doors closed 5 seconds sooner, and I literally mean 5 seconds.
        *Sigh*

        Well oh well, whats done is done and its still a great memory of my boldness that day. Anyways, the point of this post was just that I felt myself, but a better version of myself. Like I said above, I really do believe that I was acting as though an alter ego of myself would in the situations I was placed in. It made me realize just how interesting my life could be if I was more confident and outgoing. I'll get myself to that place soon enough. I know I will.

        A side note that also pertains to this subject is that today I checked my horoscope for yesterday to see if it was accurate in any way shape or form and I was fully expecting it not to be, but every single area I check was dead on about yesterdays events.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentines Day!

I hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day! 

My Valentine's day wasn't to terrible. I mean I didn't get any chocolates or flowers, but it wasn't that awful either! I actually forgot it was Valentine's day for the majority of it... Oh well! 

Well I hope you guys had wonderful days today!

Hopefully next Valentines Day I'll have a boyfriend (;

Him Again

I saw him again!

He didn't see me, but I saw him, and that's enough for now.

He was walking on the side of the road. I was on my way home from Pink berry. I was in a car. We passed by him four times, he didn't see me once. He did not notice the gold car repeatedly driving by, but that's okay.

He still looks the same, maybe a little more worn out, but still the same wonderful eyes and the same blond hair. Well, I actually didn't see it because he was wearing a beanie, but I'm sure it was still there!

It was so strange, I was in the car and he was walking with his back to me, he had a black backpack rather than his signature blue one, and he was wearing a beanie covering his blond hair. But somehow, I just knew it was him. I was right!

Well anyways, I haven't got much more to add, but I just wanted to remember today.

P.S. I'm still smiling just from this, ridiculous right?

Will You Ever Set Me Free?

He never gets out of my head! Ugh...

Every time I hear that song
it makes me think of you.
the memories flood my mind
they fill my senses.
At night I didnt want to close my eyes
to be haunted by your memory
to feel the pain I always felt
when you crossed my mind
Inevitably though, the tears would come
and I could feel the hole opening in my chest
gasping for air
grasping for something real
trying to get back to the present.
lying there, drowning in my memories of you
the way you held me
the way you looked at me
the way you made me laugh
the way you made me feel
the way we would look at each other
and know exactly what the other was thinking
with one glance we would both begin to laugh
I finally have the courage to remember those memories in the daylight
to not fall apart when I think of you
I may wince at the sound of our song
But never will I cry for you again
I love you and I am willing to set you free
to fly on my own
without you.

Passion

Passion.

I love people that are passionate about things. Music, sports, writing, a subject in school, photography etc. It doesn't really matter what to me, but it shows me that there is something more in that persons life. Something they love. When someone has something they love and care about deeply, to me, that means that they have... spirit. That when everything is falling down around them, they can turn to that passion, whatever it may be, and know that it will always be there for them. They can take out their anger, or sadness by participating in whatever it may be.

I have a friend, and he is very passionate about music. I always love talking about music with him because that's the only time when he really reveals his true personality to me. I feel as though when he is talking about music he is letting down all those barriers he builds up against people. I remember (because he doesn't go to my school anymore) that whenever I saw him, he always had headphones in his ears, or they were hanging down from the top of his shirt. I don't think I'd ever seen him without them, and I don't remember, even when we were talking, that he was not listening to a song. He showed me several great songs that upon hearing I went home and downloaded to my ipod. It always warmed my heart that he would try to find music on his ipod that he thought I would like and then show it to me.

He has been playing the piano for several years and I imagine that he's very good. The other day we were texting and I was asking him question after question. I found out that he: writes his own music and lyrics. He sings, and he likes performing in front of people. I asked him what he wrote about and he said just whatever was on his mind. I'm still working on that one, but I'll eventually get it out of him.

He also plays the guitar and the harmonica. I even heard him and his friend's song one day in class and he was playing the banjo for the intro. I must say, it was pretty impressive. I asked him if he might ever show me some of his own music one day, and he said he just might. (YES!). 

Anyways, upon thinking about it, I realized that I was passionate about writing. I really am. I love it. I write every single day. I come home and I'll write a poem about my day or just about the way I am feeling. If someone does something to hurt me or my friend or even to make me angry, I'll write about it. 

Reading is another passion of mine. It's my escape from the real world. It's my adventure into the world of another person. To see and feel things the way they do. I used to hate books that made me cry, but then I realized that two of my favorite books are indeed two books that made me cry. (When You Reach Me, and If I Stay are their titles. Look them up, they are great.) I've also noticed that I like books than I can relate to. It makes the whole premise of the book seem more real and I can imagine it that much more vividly. Which makes the experience of reading a book much more satisfying, gratifying, and electrifying. 

I hope you all can find your passion in life! Once you do, don't ever let it go. 

(If you read the picture at the top, it says the same thing as I wrote just above. the "don't ever let it go" part. I actually wrote that before I found that picture. I just thought that was a funny coincidence.) 

Imagination

Imagination. What is it? What makes someone have a good imagination? Is someone who is random, imaginative as well? Can everyone have an imagination?

Proper Definition of Imagination: the product of imagining; a conception or mental creation,often a baseless or fanciful one. (courtesy of dictionary.reference.com) 


My English teacher today, was also talking about denotation versus connotation. She basically said that denotation was the proper dictionary definition and that connotation is what you think it is. What you think about when you think about that word. 


When I hear the word imagination or any form of it I think of: fire breathing dragons, palaces, stars, fairytale endings, things like that. To have an imagination I think you just need to be creative. When you can make up your own story, you think it through in your head, that's imagining it, hence, the word imagination. But that's just my opinion. What do you think? 


I believe that anyone can have an imagination if they want to. I don't think that the people out there who go around and live their life thinking to themselves "This sucks. The world sucks. My life sucks." have such great imaginations, but they're just not acting upon it. They haven't realized the escape in can provide from the real world and all its horrible things. Sometimes, when I'm in my own little world, I imagine that none of the bad things happened, they don't exist. My life is incredible and i can do anything and be anything. I think that artists (as in painters and photographers) most definitely have imagination. To think things through and adjust their masterpiece just right to evoke just the right feelings and emotions form the people who view it.


Well anyways, this is just what was running through my mind today during English class and I thought I might write about it a little. Hope you enjoyed! 

Why Can't I Have a Cool Name?

I was thinking to myself, why are some people names just so cool? How do they get such cool last names? How do their first and last names fit together so well that whenever you say it its like listening to a harmony of bells?

I dont want to go into detail about all the names because I wouldnt want to disclose any information on this blog that can provide "too informational" for stalking finding people just in case people read it, or will read it sometime in the future. (Which I REALLY hope will happen, Who knows. I guess it takes time right?)

But anyways, this revelation or, maybe its just a thought, came to me today while I was in gym class. I was thinking to myself, why do some people just have such cool names that just have a great ring to them. Like my friend who is a sophomore, she's got SUCH a cool last name. I will feel so sad when she gets married and has to change it, unless she keeps it. Which would be absolutely awesome. (I'm keeping mine by the way, for all you potential husbands out there *wink wink*)

I know this post was completely pointless because I didnt really disclose any cool names that I know, but its for the safety of their owners, I promise, otherwise there would be a great long list right here!

Well thats it really, I hope you all had a wonderful day!

Do you think its awkward when the person you like, knows you like her/him?

This has happened to me before, but I was just randomly thinking about it. I think it really depends on the person you like. If they're mature they wont mind and they wont act stupid about it, but if the person isn't or isn't flattered at all, they'll just be creeped out and ignore you.

The first time I ever liked someone that didn't like me back (I know this sounds kind of conceited, but its true) was in 6th grade. He knew I liked him though, and it was awkward. Why was it awkward? Not because he knew I liked him, but because your friends always make everything awkward... I think that's the real problem right there. Well anyways, his name was Austin. He was realllyyyyy cuuuuute...

Anyways, I will now ignore him for the rest of my life though because my friends made it supperr awkward. We go to the same school and have the same 1st period, but I just ignoooore him. Not in a negative way or anything, just so I don't have to be confronted with the awkwardness of our past every time he sees me. Well anyways. Just a random thought I thought I might share with you. Hope your day is going great!

P.S Finals were today and then we have them tomorrow too... I hate them!! Well I mean, I just took my English one today which was reallyyy esayyyy (: but my spanish final tomorrow will prove more difficult, and I have a feeling that my math final will too... Although, they are both all multiple choice. I love multiple choice!

Have a great day! Good luck on finals if you have to take them this week and your school wasn't smart enough to have you take them BEFORE Christmas Break!

Could it be something more?

Do you think that guys and girls can be just friends? Or do you think that there's always some attraction there, even if its a small amount, that finds the other person physically attractive some way, some how?

You see, this guy I went to middle school with used to like me, and had even asked me out in seventh grade. I said no, but we were still fairly good friends. It wasn't until eighth grade that we really started talking and became really good friends. In fact, he's my best guy friend and I'm probably one of his best girl friends. He used to have long hair that reached his shoulders and braces. Over the summer though he cut his hair, and got his braces off. He is a fairly muscular male for his age, and has blond hair and blue eyes.

Right now he has a girlfriend (who does not like me, I might add) and we've been really good friends for a while. I feel as though we can pretty much talk about anything without it being awkward. What I'm not sure though is how i feel about him. We have good memories and have good laughs. But I am still not sure. Yeah, I guess i would actually consider dating him now if he was single, but even still... I just have no idea. I mean, its not like I like him though, I'm just saying I guess he's pretty attractive.

Anyways, this whole situation reminded me of this movie called When Harry Met Sally the male lead was talking to the female lead (Meg Ryan) and they were talking about how he thinks guys and girls can never be "just friends". It got me thinking, do you think guys and girls can be just friends?